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Mine's A Gargleblaster Please...


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#79 pljones

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Posted 10 October 2011 - 06:27 PM

Ayesennaslice for me, please.


#80 Gosho

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Posted 11 October 2011 - 12:43 AM

I say, bartender! I was reading today on a beer geek website about a 52% ABV pale mild brewed with lager yeast, aged for 50 years in oak barrels made from the recovered timbers of a 15th century warship that had sunk ten years before it was launched and the barrels had previously been used to transport unicorn spit, then passed through the digestive system of a bugblatter beast, dry-hopped with Cleopatra's mummy, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters.

I'd like a pint of that please.

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#81 ITIWBS

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Posted 11 October 2011 - 09:52 AM

Olive philosophy, a fresh picked, ripe olive (or even a green one) is about the most vile tasting thing in creation considered to be edible, extraordinarily bitter with a 'sugar-like' substance called 'glycosides'. (Glycosides do have some medical applications as styptics, taken to the purpose stopping serum oozing from small cuts and abrasions. The juice of a fresh ripe olive (or even a green one) can be used for first aid that way.)

It is so vile tasting that I often wonder how it ever came to be recognized as useful food.

I would guess that since olive culture originated in the Mediterranean, where keeping goats is also a long established tradition, that human interest was first stimulated by observations of goats climbing trees to get at the olives. (They do that.) Many things considered unfit for human consumption, or at least considered undesirable, are employed in animal feedstuffs. Next it was probably observed that goats feeding on olives produce an exceptionally copious milk flow, which of course is something to be desired. Next, perhaps, they determined to keep stocks of the olives over winter to help keep the best milk ewes in production during the months when they are most likely to go dry. In turn, the olives, unless very well dried, will spoil if stored in bulk, so people got the idea of salting them or packing them in wood ashes. Either method will have the effect of killing enough of the bitter glycosides flavor that the olive becomes palatable for human beings. Next, of course, they'd decide that olives are too good to be wasted on the goats.

The salt method is the least messy and so is preferred even though it is slower than the ash method.

:D The salt cure method takes a minimum of six weeks and requires burying the olives in enough salt to fill the empty spaces between them and barely cover them. The salt draws most of the water and glycosides out of the olives, after about six weeks the olive looks and tastes rather similar to the conventional store bought 'ripe' black olive, though stronger and saltier and rather wrinkly. (The black olives in the stores are actually harvested green and blacken during the curing process unless air is excluded, in which case they will stay green.)

Salt cure olives will keep indefinitely so long as they stay in the brine. Myself, I eat them like peanuts (less the pit, of course*). For some, the flavor is still too strong, or they may want a lower sodium content, in which case one blanches them by pouring plain boiling water over them 3 days running, allowing them to steep 24 hours after each blanching, then puts them up using standard home canning technique in a fourth course of plain water.

:D These are the methods I'd recommend for someone trying this at home for the first time. :D

The ash cure method might have some utility in an emergency survival situation, in which case the method is bury them in ashes and bake them for at least an hour, covered so as to prevent water loss [improvise], but while goats will not mind a little ash, people usually find it objectionable.

The method used making the common green pimento olives, or the similarly flavored purple Mediterranean olive, is a rather complicated one depending on a fermentation process, which I would not recommend to people not experienced in home pickling and fermentation processes.

*The pit is traditionally used in the manufacture of charcoal, or, well dried, directly as fuel in the barbecue pit.
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#82 ITIWBS

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Posted 11 October 2011 - 10:05 AM

Comments on post 80, I once kept a liter can of German Lowenbrau in the refrigerator 12 years before opening it. It was excellent. Well worth the wait.
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#83 jack white

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Posted 11 October 2011 - 11:41 AM

Let's run a sweep on the date the forum is finally up and running.

My guess is November 14th. :D2:

#84 Haragai - U14769281

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Posted 11 October 2011 - 11:54 AM

I say Tuesday, 2011.
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#85 randomlyrandom23

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Posted 11 October 2011 - 02:06 PM

*wanders in from the cold and looks around timidly*

May I try one of these 'ere Gargleblaster's please? My cockles need warming.

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#86 Zaptoid

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Posted 11 October 2011 - 03:02 PM

It puts the lotion, on its skin.

Btw, lol goat :D8:

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#87 Malabarista

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Posted 11 October 2011 - 09:39 PM

Grrr, I need a stiff drink now, after having to deal with all those taxis. Taxis shouldn't be allowed on the road.

In the course of the 15-minute cycle home, I nearly got run over by a taxi shooting out of a side road across a red light, was splashed up to the hips by one more than a full lane away, and had one beep and flash its lights at me going up the hill, because obviously that will make me go faster. (And there was a second lane it could have used anyway!)

So, something nice and relaxing, please.

#88 Happy Nerd

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Posted 12 October 2011 - 06:38 AM

That's a load of olive pits. I was eating olives as a child. I clearly remember my sister wearing them on all fingers before eating them off her fingers. I particularly liked the ones stuffed with blanched almonds, also a local crop.

#89 Happy Nerd

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Posted 12 October 2011 - 06:39 AM

Wow, that sounded harsh. Maybe I should have a few olives with my beer and go to bed.

#90 ITIWBS

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Posted 12 October 2011 - 07:45 AM

A Neolithic Beach Picnic...




Late midafternoon, the clan gathers around a clan-sized prepared pit, already lined with seaweed. Humongous hot coals from the fire that's been burning since just after mid-day are shoveled in, given another application of seaweed on top, then the days gleaning of clams n' crabs and other goodies are piled in, more seaweed piled on top. Since the supply of the seaweed is running short, a huge basket of olives is piled on top, then the remainder of the available coal, then the ash, then finally the last remnants of the seaweed and olives and finally the pit is covered over with flat rocks gathered by the water's edge.

About an hour and a half later, the clan gathers, the rocks are removed, the seaweed and olives are raked away, the remaining ashes and coals are swept away and the last remnants of the seaweed and olives raked back. People begin queueing up to help themselves.

Next, someone remembers the tank of wild gathered cereal grains that hadn't been capped in time to prevent it from being flooded in a rain had developed a robust yeasty bloom on top and people begin helping themselves. In the course of the binge that follows, someone is heard to remark of the yeasty bloom on top,

"That's good stuff. have a small handful and the fleas desert you."

Someone helping themselves to seconds at the pit, after sampling a little seaweed cautiously tries one of the olives, then remarks,

"Hey! These things are good!"

A brief rush for the olives follows. there is a background murmuring of agreement.

As night falls and the clan gathers around the campfire a loud "Belch!" is heard along with a little percussive tummy tapping...
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#91 BaronGrim

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Posted 13 October 2011 - 01:11 PM

I was just trying to find more about curing olives in lye as I'd heard of that method as well and I found more than I ever wanted to know about the many various methods of making olives palatable. http://www.turkishla...k/olivecure.htm

#92 The Thinker

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Posted 13 October 2011 - 02:08 PM

Apart from olives being added to most Mediterranean dishes are capers, which are to get and are quite on the expensive side.

Thanks for the link. :G11: :G9:
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#93 madspaniard

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Posted 13 October 2011 - 09:12 PM

Hello....could I possibly get a nice bit of :S1: :S1: ?

Could do with some...really a scorcher today!!! :(( *whew*

#94 Happy Nerd

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Posted 15 October 2011 - 06:16 AM

Something with an unhealthy amount of ethanol, please.

#95 Zaptoid

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Posted 15 October 2011 - 05:05 PM

*exhale slowly*

It's Saturday evening, I just finished feeding my puppies. Man oh man, it feels like I was working the whole day in the sun.

Ironically, I was. I had to replace a door which made me realize how useless I am when it comes to handy man related work. Luckily I have a garage full of tools still in their packaging.

Off went the plastic wrapping, gone was the bubble wrap and Hey Presto, a door was born. 7 hours later and the door was up. Partly I was to blame and partly Mary Jane. However, now that I have ranted some useless information, I'd like to place my order.

One Flaming Lamborghini please, bar-dude.

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#96 The Thinker

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Posted 16 October 2011 - 02:04 PM

I think I will have a trip down memory lane and have a snowball. :D17:
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#97 ITIWBS

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Posted 16 October 2011 - 05:19 PM

BaronGrim, very nice link on curing olives, saved to archive.

On the question of disposal of wood ash, just so long as no salt has been added, should work fine as garden fertilizer, used sparingly, except for acid loving plants (and sometimes for those if they seem to be suffering from hyper-acid conditions)
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#98 Matt

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Posted 15 June 2012 - 09:55 AM

*wanders in* Ey up. Pint of Porter, and make it thick. Nice to see things back on the wagon.

#99 Nosebagbadger

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Posted 15 June 2012 - 09:43 PM

Well i'm afraid i stocked up on a fair bit of red wine before coming here, so I'll take a look in the cellar to see if i can find some more, good to see you here Matt
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